How do you thank someone for giving you the
gift of parenthood? I believe it is by raising my son to know that
he is loved not just by his daddy and me, but also by two people
he's never known, but who are so special to us...
Hear Sara talk about the decision
to place her baby for adoption and how her life has been changed
by the experience.
Tania is a birth parent counselor with five years
experience at a licensed child-placing agency.
She not only is a birth parent counselor, but also
is an options counselor, and a post-adoptive caseworker. In addition,
Tania works with teen parents in a school setting, and is, herself,
a young mother.
Tania is here to help answer your questions about
Got your own story about adoption?
How will your adopted baby do?
How will YOU do if you place your baby for adoption?
40% of U.S. adults have considered adopting a child
63% have a "very favorable"
opinion about adoption
64% have experienced adoption in their own
families or among close friends
78% believe the country should do more
to encourage adoption.
Source: The Dave Thomas Foundation (from
Probably very well. Check out these facts:
Studies show extremely high rates of attachment to adoptive parents,
as deep as their non-adopted siblings. Ninety-five percent of parents
have a strong attachment to their adopted child and 95% of adoptive
families say that raising an adopted child is no different than raising
a non-adopted child. Indeed, the terms adoption and adoptive are not
defining factors to these families' existence.
(Growing Up Adopted: The Search Institute
Study, Dr. Peter L. Benson, Dr. Anu R. Sharma,
LP, and Eugene C. Roehlkepartain, June 1994.)
FIVE MORE FACTS FROM THE SAME STUDY:
This study by The Search Institute of over 700 families examined children
twelve to eighteen years after they were born and placed for adoption.
This same study also revealed that:
self esteem was as high or higher than their peers;
75% of adopted
adolescents are psychologically healthy;
do extremely well in school;
attend college more often than the general population;
experience lower rates of crime and drug abuse.
Research indicating adoptees are uniquely vulnerable psychologically,
ignores a mountain of data showing that fully 95% of them are never
referred for therapy.
(The Chosen Family, Jean Bethke Elshtain,
"The New Republic", September 12/21, 1998.)
Children adopted in infancy do as well as non-adopted children on
measures central to mental health. The differences are so slight this
study puts to rest the oft-stated view that adoptees have major mental
health problems compared with their non-adoptive peers.
(Adoption and Mental Health, E. James Lieberman,
MD and Katherine Whipple, Ph.D, Friend of the Court, Volume 5, Spring
Adoptees see themselves as being more in control of their lives and
have more confidence in their own judgment than do their non-adopted
peers. In numerous other comparisons, adoptees tended to view others
more positively, have a more internal focus of control, and see their
parents as significantly more nurturing, comforting, predictable,
protectively concerned and helpful than did the non-adopted.
(K.S. Marquis and R.A.Detweiler, Does Adopted
Mean Different, 1985, as described in The Adoption Handbook.)
The impact of adoption on children is overwhelmingly positive. Adoptive
families provide supportive, nurturing environments, the effects of
which are evident in the health, development and behavior of young
(Nicholas Zill, Vice President and Director
of Child and Family Studies, Westat, Inc in
testimony before the House of Representatives Committee on Ways and
Subcommittee on Human Resources, May 10, 1995.)
These studies show positive results for birth moms. Check out these
"There's a study from Planned Parenthood's Family Planning Perspectives
of 270 unwed mothers. It reported that those young mothers who placed
their babies for adoption had considerably more favorable social,
economic and educational outcomes than did those who kept their babies
and parented as single parents. Comparing these two groups, the study
showed that those who placed their children for adoption were:
More likely to
finish vocational training and more likely to have educational aspirations.
More likely to
delay marriage and considerably less likely to have another out-of-wedlock
More likely to
be employed six to twelve months after giving birth and, across
the board, almost all had higher household incomes."
"Here's another study at Columbia University of over 400 pregnant
teenagers. It checked them at six months and again at 4 years after
giving birth. Again, those who placed their babies for adoption fared
much better than single mothers who chose to parent their own child.
In this study, mothers who placed their babies for adoption were:
More likely to
complete high school; more likely to attend college, more likely
to have higher educational aspirations; more likely to be employed
six months and four years after giving birth; and–a big one–more
likely to be married.
They were less
likely to be on welfare. There were fewer of them who were cohabiting
and fewer who had another out-of-wedlock pregnancy.
Those who placed
their babies were more likely to have greater overall satisfaction
with their lives, including satisfaction with their work, finances
and relationship with their partners.
were more likely to be optimistic about their own future. And, among
this group, there were fewer women suffering from depression."
from Life Issues Today with J.C. Willke, MD, October 2003