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Tania is a birth parent counselor with five years experience at a licensed child-placing agency.

She not only is a birth parent counselor, but also is an options counselor, and a post-adoptive caseworker. In addition, Tania works with teen parents in a school setting, and is, herself, a young mother.

Tania is here to help answer your questions about adoption.

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Sara

2 :: After The Birth     

The hospital was great, very accommodating. There weren’t a lot of people there delivering at the same time and so they had quite a few empty rooms, so the adoptive parents were able to come and actually stay at the hospital. And so we all left on the same day and we were all there together and spending some time together. I met some of their family when they came down and got to spend quite a bit of time together before he went home with them.

And then after the actual birth, we continued to keep in touch through letters. They wrote letting me know how he was doing and sent me letters with pictures. And then when he was about three months old, the adoptive parents had contacted me through the Children’s Home and asked if I wanted to get together and visit. And I hadn’t counted on that at all. And so I was very surprised, but very happy, and absolutely I wanted to. So we got together for the first time at the Children's Home. So I got to see him and hold him and feed him and see how he was doing, which was amazing.

He is five years old now. I’ve been to their house. They, probably when he was about two and a half, had invited me to come up there to visit. And so we went up and I got to play with him and spend the day there and just sort of see where he lives and that sort of thing. Usually once or twice a year we get together and we exchange letters and e-mail and pictures. And I call him every year on his birthday to wish him a happy birthday now … and so pretty close contact.

He knows I’m his birthmother. He knows what that means. He knows that he grew in my tummy. The last time we had gotten together actually was last August and it was shortly after the birth of my son that I have now. We wanted to get together so that they could meet my son, Brennan. And so we got together and played. And he was very excited to meet him and he was looking at him and touching him and, “Oh, was I this little? Was I, you know, did I look like this?” And we were playing on the playground and he said to me, he was like, “You know, Sara I grew in your tummy.” And I say, “Yeah, you’re right. You did.” And he says, “Well, Brennan grew in your tummy too.” And I say, “You’re right.” And he says, “Well, I think that makes us tummy brothers then.”

So he knows. I mean he has a very clear idea of it. The adoptive parents have been wonderful in teaching him what it means and telling him his birth story. He and his sister both know that they were adopted and who their birthmothers are and have that contact and that knowledge, which he seems to have accepted very well and is very comfortable with.

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