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Throughout my whole life, I have always let what other people say to me, or about me, get to me. I always lashed back at them, and the silly part of it was, I listened to them. I started feeling really low about my life, and I began to spiral downhill. Food was really comforting to me, and I began to eat and eat, and soon put on a few pounds. My grandmother would tell me I should lose some weight, and that it was not good to be overweight. Back then I thought she was making fun of me, and being cruel to me. So I began to diet, and made myself throw up a lot. I didn't realize it then, but I was really hurting my body. The funny thing was, I could stop doing what I was doing for awhile, and whenever I wanted to throw up, I would do it. I never became hooked on it like most teens with bulimia do.

Anyway, a lot of times, a lot of kids and adults would call me names, and I would take it to heart. I was once working as a cashier in the local food store, and I heard the other workers talking cruelly about me. Then I began to believe them, and soon ended all my friendships, and stayed to myself a lot. Of course, my parents liked this, because I never was in any trouble because I was always home. I would go onto the computer for hours, or watch TV. Soon watching movie stars, and singers on TV made me want to be just like them, pretty, famous, and most of all, skinny. This feeling stuck to me that if I wanted to be anything, or anyone, I had to be pretty. And that feeling was the most horrible feeling I have ever felt in my life.

Now I am 21, and I have learned to not take what people say to me, or about me, to heart. I shove it off and just think in my mind: "If you do not like me, or like something about me, that is your problem. I like myself for who I am inside, and that is all that matters." And soon my self-esteem began to build higher and higher, and although I never lost the pounds I've gained, I have gained more than just an image that people see. I've gained courage to move on with my life...and courage to see that if you like who you are, then that is fine. There is no excuse to listen to what people say. There is no excuse to look at movie stars, and singers and say: "They are pretty, and I want to be just like them." Now I just say: "That is their life, their body. This is mine, and I am happy with the way I am." I have a family, a close and loving family. I have my health, and I have food, shelter, and a lot of love. I do not need fame, and I do not need to fit in size 1 clothes. I need to be me, and that is just what I am doing now.

So when you are feeling low about yourself, snap out of it. No matter how skinny and pretty other people might be, they are going to grow old just like you and I. Being pretty and skinny is not going to matter when you are old. What IS going to matter is what you did with your life, and how you improved it, and survived. And I believe that I am a survivor. Now when my grandmother says I should lose some weight for my health, I look at her and know that she says that because she wants me to be healthy. I eat a lot of vegetables now, and I do not make myself throw up anymore. I am satisfied with who I am, not just on the inside, but on the outside as well. It doesn't matter what people think about you. Those are THEIR opinions. The only opinions that matter are the ones you think about for yourself. And if you believe in yourself, you can go far. And that is what I am planning to do. Go far with my life, live it to the fullest, and be happy. That is what really matters.