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I was about 13 when I thought about suicide. I just never thought that I was good enough for anyone & not pretty enough to have a boyfriend. I heard my friends just say that they didn't want me to die; that I was someone special. I didn't. They gave me a lot of reasons why I shouldn't. I even went to counseling. It helped for the longest time. What I didn't know was that the worst was yet to come.

I was 14 when my grandma died, and my grandma and I were really close. That's when I thought about suicide again. It wasn't as bad as it was before. Within a couple of weeks I was over it. It all started up again over a boy and then it added to just hating my life. At one point, I couldn't even sleep I was so upset. I never told anyone how I felt. I just felt as if no one cared. I mean, of course people said they cared, but how am I suppose to believe them?

One of the hardest things in my life that I had to get over was killing myself. Every time I couldn't handle anything I'd think of suicide. I really had no one to talk to. Suddenly out of nowhere I finally saw something in me. I saw that I can get over killing myself. I just started telling people how I felt and that helped me through.

I'm not saying that I tell everyone how I feel. I basically have a few people I tell. I know that it may seem that I am a crazy person, but I'm not. I'm just a regular kid like you getting over something that really hurt me. I can actually get up in the morning and say I love to be alive.